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Understanding Intercultural Couples Therapy | What we can work on | Meet Our Therapists | Locations | FAQs
Intercultural, Interracial & Mixed-Culture Couples Therapy in California
Intercultural and interracial couples therapy to help you understand each other’s worlds, work through the places where you get stuck, and build a relationship that makes room for both of you.
This space is for intercultural, interracial and mixed-culture couples, as well as individuals navigating life between cultures — in-person therapy in Pasadena and San Francisco, serving the greater Los Angeles area, with online therapy throughout California.
Sometimes we love each other and still don’t fully understand each other
You may love each other deeply and still find yourselves having the same arguments about family, money, traditions, communication, faith, boundaries, or what your future should look like. Sometimes it’s about what happened, but sometimes it’s about what that moment means because of the families, cultures, values, and experiences each of you bring into the relationship.
Maybe one of you grew up in a family where everyone talked about everything, while the other learned that some things should stay private.
Maybe one family is involved in a lot of your everyday decisions, while the other values more independence.
Maybe one of you learned that being direct is a way of being honest, while the other experiences that same directness as harsh.
Maybe love looked like words and affection in one home, and sacrifice, responsibility, food, work, or simply showing up in the other.
Neither of you has to be “wrong” for these differences to hurt.
And when we don’t understand where the other person is coming from, it can be easy to start telling ourselves a story about what their actions mean:
“You don’t care about me.”
“Your family always comes first.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You don’t respect my parents.”
“Why can’t you just understand?”
In therapy, we can slow these moments down together. Instead of only focusing on who said what or who was right, we can get curious about why this matters so much to each of you. What did you learn about love, family, respect, conflict, or responsibility? What happens inside each of you when these differences come up? And what do you want to do differently when they do?
We’re not trying to decide whose culture or way of doing things is better.
We’re learning each other’s worlds—and figuring out how to build a relationship that makes room for both of you.
When one — or both — of you has had to sacrifice
Intercultural and interracial relationships can involve beautiful forms of adaptation and partnership. They can also involve sacrifices that are easy to overlook.
Maybe one person moved away from family, learned a new language, adjusted to different traditions, entered a new faith community, changed how holidays are celebrated, or became the person constantly translating between worlds.
Sometimes those choices were made willingly and lovingly.
And yet they can still carry grief.
One partner may quietly wonder whether the other understands how much has changed for them. The other may feel confused because they thought the choices were mutual.
We can make room for both.
Therapy does not turn sacrifice into a scoreboard. It can help you name what has been given, what is still needed, and how both partners can feel considered in the life you are building together.
Sometimes our families come into the relationship with us
When two people build a life together, they rarely arrive alone. We bring our families, traditions, expectations, beliefs, histories, and ideas about what relationships are supposed to look like.
Questions can come up around how often you see family, how involved parents should be, or a range of important topics such as money, caregiving, holidays, religion, marriage, children, sex, gender roles, privacy, loyalty, and boundaries.
For some couples, setting a boundary feels straightforward. For others, that same boundary can feel like rejection, disrespect, selfishness, or betrayal.
The goal is not to decide that one family is healthy and the other is unhealthy.
Instead, we can be curious and explore what each family taught you, what you want to carry forward, what you may want to change, and what the two of you want your own relationship to become.
Instead, we can learn each other’s worlds
In therapy, we can become students of each other. Intercultural and interracial therapy is not about memorizing a list of cultural rules. Even people who share the same ethnicity, language, religion, or country of origin can have completely different experiences. Culture gives us context rather than criteria to judge. We believe it is important to ask things like:
What did respect look like in your home?
How did your family handle conflict?
What did you learn about asking for help?
What did love look like?
How did your family handle disappointment?
What does partnership mean to you?
These conversations can help couples move away from “Who is right?” and toward “Can I understand why this matters to you?” We don’t have to erase differences to feel close.
Meet our intercultural, interracial & mixed-culture couples therapists in California
There isn’t one “right” therapist for every intercultural/interracial relationship. Sometimes it helps to work with someone who shares part of your cultural experience. Sometimes what matters more is finding someone who is curious about your world, understands how culture can shape relationships, and doesn’t assume they already know your story
Kim Agramon (Agramon-Bai)
Kim grew up in the Philippines and moved to the United States as an adult. She is also in an intercultural marriage with a Chinese American partner.
Her lived experience gives her a personal understanding of some of the questions that can come with navigating different cultures, families, expectations, traditions, and ways of seeing the world.
But Kim is also careful not to assume that because something feels familiar, she already understands your relationship.
“I want to learn about your relationship, not make assumptions about it.”
Kim especially enjoys helping couples understand the patterns underneath recurring conflict, learn how to communicate more clearly, and become more curious about each other’s worlds.
Emily (Donavon) Tien
Emily grew up in the Midwest and is married to a Chinese/Taiwanese American partner from the Bay Area. Her personal and professional experience with intercultural relationships has made exploring cultural influences a core part of how she works with couples.
Emily approaches culture from a place of curiosity. No two couples, even those who share a similar background, carry the same history or relational expectations. Curiosity—from the therapist and from each partner— keeps the work of Restoration Therapy applicable to every configuration of couple.
Emily especially enjoys helping couples name the cultural scripts informing their beliefs and behaviors. From this place of insight, couples are empowered to find new ways to talk about the traditions, families, and expectations to better shape their relationship.
Why Work With Table Family Therapy?
At Table Family Therapy, we see therapy as the process of building something strong and lasting together—like a table, able to not only stand on its own but also hold the weight of the things in our life.
In intercultural and interracial relationships, there may be many different parts of each person asking for a seat: family, culture, faith, language, identity, traditions, grief, hopes for the future, and the relationship you are trying to build together.
We don’t want one person’s world to have to disappear for the relationship to work.
Therapy can become a place where both of you get to bring more of yourselves to the table—and decide together what you want to build from there.
Our therapists bring different backgrounds and styles to this work, which also gives you options when choosing someone who feels like a good fit.
How Intercultural and Interracial Couples Therapy Can Help
Therapy may help with:
Recurring conflict and misunderstandings
Communication differences
Family expectations and involvement
Boundaries with parents or extended family
Different cultural values
Interfaith relationships
Money and financial expectations
Marriage and commitment
Parenting and raising multicultural children
Traditions and holidays
Immigration and acculturation
Identity and belonging
Different expressions of love and care
Gender roles and responsibilities
Grief, sacrifice, and resentment
Building shared values and traditions
Sexual intimacy
FAQs About Intercultural and Interracial Couples Therapy
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You do not have to come to therapy as a couple for culture and relationships to be part of the work.
Individual therapy can be a place to explore what it is like to move between cultures, navigate family expectations, date or marry across cultures, set boundaries, make decisions that your family may not understand, or figure out what you actually believe and want.
Are you trying to honor where you come from without losing yourself? Are you realizing that some of the expectations you carry are not entirely yours? We can make room for the complexity without forcing you to choose between your belonging and who you are becoming.
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No. “Intercultural” can include differences in family culture, socioeconomic background, religion, immigration history, or other meaningful ways of experiencing the world beyond just race or ethnicity.
What matters is whether those differences are important in your relationship.
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The goal is not to decide whose culture or family is right.
We want to understand the meaning each person is bringing into the relationship, identify the patterns that keep creating disconnection, and help you communicate with more curiosity and choice.
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Family involvement is often an important but also challenging part of intercultural relationships.
Therapy can make room for loyalty, love, obligation, boundaries, caregiving, expectations, and the complicated feelings that can come with trying to build a partnership while staying connected to family.
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Yes.
If faith is meaningful in your relationship, it can be part of therapy. That may include shared faith, different faith traditions, interfaith relationships, changing beliefs, family expectations around religion, or deciding what you want faith to look like in your home.
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You do not have to figure that out from a website alone.
A consultation can help us learn a little about what you are looking for, answer your questions, and help determine which therapist may be the best fit based on your needs, preferences, availability, and the therapist’s areas of experience.
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Yes. We offer in-person intercultural and mixed-culture couples therapy at our Pasadena and San Francisco offices. Our Pasadena office serves clients throughout the greater Los Angeles area, and we also provide online therapy throughout California.
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We can help! Please refer to our other Specialties pages or contact Somin Kim at Somin@Tablefamilytherapy.com.
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We can help! Please refer to our other Specialties pages or contact Kim Agramon (Agramon-Bai) at Kim@Tablefamilytherapy.com.
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Yes. We work with interracial couples as well as intercultural and mixed-culture couples. Therapy can be a space to explore how race, culture, identity, family expectations, communication, traditions, and lived experiences show up in your relationship—without assuming that differences are automatically the problem.
Intercultural & Interracial Couples Therapy in Pasadena, Los Angeles & San Francisco
We offer in-person intercultural, interracial and mixed-culture couples therapy at our offices in Pasadena and San Francisco, serving clients from the greater Los Angeles area, as well as online therapy throughout California. We support couples navigating differences in culture, family expectations, communication, faith, identity, traditions, and the different experiences each person brings into the relationship.
Couple’s therapy is about exploring and understanding each other’s worlds. Find the therapist who feels like the right fit for your relationship.
Emily and Kim are available as part of the Table Family Therapy team for intercultural, interracial & mixed-culture therapy, depending on fit and availability.
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Naeimi, H., & Impett, E. A. (2025). Navigating cultural crossroads: A thematic analysis of individuals' sacrifices in intercultural romantic relationships. Journal of Marriage and Family, 87(3), 1200–1223.
McElroy-Heltzel, S. E., Davis, D. E., DeBlaere, C., Hook, J. N., Massengale, M., Choe, E., & Rice, K. G. (2018). Cultural humility: Pilot study testing the social bonds hypothesis in interethnic couples. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 65(4), 531–537.
Pittman, P. S., Kamp Dush, C., Pratt, K. J., & Wong, J. D. (2024).Interracial couples at risk: Discrimination, well-being, and health. Journal of Family Issues, 45(2), 303–325.
Leslie, L. A., & Letiecq, B. L. (2004). Marital quality of African American and White partners in interracial couples. Personal Relationships, 11(4), 559–574.